


I'm a Little Tied up Right Now

by strawberry_justaway



Category: Gintama
Genre: (for comedic purposes), (not real bondage), (not really) - Freeform, Arguing, Banter, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Hostage Situations, Humiliation, Humor, Insults, M/M, Pre-Shogun Arc, Public Humiliation, Rope Bondage, Sadistic Sougo, Secret Relationship, Silly, ridiculous situations, tsundere hijikata
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23793634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberry_justaway/pseuds/strawberry_justaway
Summary: Sacchan finds out Gintoki and Hijikata have been sleeping together. She takes it about as well as can be expected, and Hijikata is the one to bear the brunt of it.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 30
Kudos: 215





	I'm a Little Tied up Right Now

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and silly, but I had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you have fun reading it !
> 
> The working title was "Sachan vs Hijikata."

Hijikata stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray on his desk. He raised his arms behind his head and began stretching out his shoulders. He had been doing nothing but paperwork all afternoon and could feel his back tensing up. Perhaps he would take on an extra patrol as an excuse to stretch his legs.

Suddenly feeling a disturbance, he froze in place, pretending to extend his stretch, to be focusing on the inner feeling, when really scanning his surroundings.

Too little, too late. He felt the point of a blade prick the back of his neck.

“What do you want?” he asked, cautious. An intruder this deep into the barracks was either extremely skilled or the result of incompetent guards. Despite the likelihood of the latter, he thought it best to prepare for the former.

“You have taken everything I want from me, Hijikata-san.”

That light, delicate feminine voice... Sarutobi? Her voice was flat and filled with murderous intent, but there was no mistaking it.

“Oi, quit fooling around,” reprimanded Hijikata, adopting a commanding tone. He began to move to stand up, but sat back down immediately as Sachan pushed the kunai into his skin.

Hijikata winced as the point broke his skin. Apparently, she was much more serious than usual.

“You should know better than to play around with a woman scorned,” she said before adding, in a harsh tone, “ _whore.”_

Hijikata stiffened. What the hell was going on?

“Nothing to say to defend yourself?” she asked.

“Sarutobi-san.... You've got it wrong...” She laughed maniacally.

“You think I don't know what I saw?”

Hijikata mentally kicked himself. They had been so careful. When could she have seen them? Perhaps they had gotten sloppier as the months had gone by and their encounters had increased... He was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts by a pulling sensation at his wrists.

“Wait, what are you doing?!” Sachan had tied his wrists behind his back. She swerved and drew her kunai across his throat.

“Making sure you don't get away before I'm done with you, _slut._ ” She hissed out the insult, spraying his cheek with spit. Hijikata flinched, disgusted at having had some of her spit spray into his eye. Reasoning with her was going to be difficult, but he wasn't ready to give up just yet.

“Hurting me isn't going to solve anything,” he told her.

“On the contrary, Hijikata-san,” she bit back, pushing up her glasses and causing them to reflect, “With you out of the picture, my Gin-san will come running back to me to indulge in my warm womanly embrace.”

“He didn't want your embrace even before I was in the picture!” cried Hijikata.

“You don't know that for sure!” she shouted back, losing her cool.

The outside door slid open.

“Hijikata-san,” said Yamazaki, “Kondo-san wanted to know if … Eh?” He trailed off as he took in the scene in front of him.

“Oi, Yamazaki, neutralise her, will you?” Yamazaki just stared dumbly at his compromised superior and the fearsome woman who was growling at him. “Yamazaki!”

Yamazaki began sweating and trembling. Sachan took matters into her own hands.

“You won't take me down!” she cried as she threw a series of kunai at Yamazaki, pinning him to the wall by his jacket. She grabbed Hijikata by the back of his collar and leapt out of the room.

“Oi! Sarutobi-san! Let me go!”

“No!” she screamed, “You've taken my Gin-san from me!” she whined, tears rushing down her cheeks.

Stopping at the foot of a tree in the Shinsengumi courtyard, she pulled out more rope and tied him up more securely, threading it around his bust several times in a complicated series of different patterns.

“There, that'll keep you still,” she said, satisfied as she leaned back and put her hands on her hips.

Hijikata looked down at the intricate knots covering his body.

“Oi! Why does this look like bondage?!” he cried, feeling humiliated.

“Hey, Hijikata-san,” called Sougo, walking across the courtyard to meet them, “Please don't bring your weekend activities into the workplace. It's highly inappropriate.”

“None of this is voluntarily!”

“I had my suspicions you were an M, Hijikata-san, but those kind of fantasies are way too much information.”

“That's not what I meant! Just take her down will you!”

“I'm delivering justice!” Sachan grabbed Hijikata by his collar and screamed into his face, “You should understand justice, you dumb policeman!”

“Ah, well, if it's justice it can't be helped,” said Sougo, turning to walk away. “Bye!” he called, raising his hand without turning back.

“Sougo! Get back here! Sougo!”

“Toshi! What's going on?” cried Kondo anxiously, as he jogged across the courtyard, Yamazaki in tow – in a now sleeveless uniform jacket.

“Stay back!” cried Sachan, holding her kunai to Hijikata's throat once more. Kondo and Yamazaki stopped in their tracks, stunned.

“Sarutobi-san, please,” tried Kondo, “There's really no need for this.”

“Do you even know what he's done?” she demanded.

“I'm sure it can't be that bad...” said Kondo, though as he took in Sachan's dismay, his voice trailed off as he began to doubt. His eyes lingered over Hijikata.

“Oi, Kondo-san!” cried Hijikata, feeling Kondo's gaze. “You can't trust this crazy woman over me! I haven't done anything! Let's just drop this whole thing, all right?”

“I don't know Toshi... She really does seem upset. Are you sure you didn't do anything to upset her?”

“Nothing...” lied Hijikata nervously.

“You lying slut!” cried Sachan, “You stole my Gin-san!” She slapped him across the face. A resounding smack echoed through the courtyard.

Hijikata slowly opened his eyes and winced at the pain.

There was a sudden flash of light.

“Perfect!”

Sougo had returned with his camera.

“What the hell are you doing taking pictures of this?” demanded Hijikata. Sougo shrugged.

“This isn't exactly an everyday occurrence,” he justified, “Why not save it for posterity's sake?”

“Why not save _me_ for _my_ sake?!”

“Oi, Yamazaki,” whispered Kondo to the side, “Why not try to get the Yorozuya? Seems like he has something to do with this and maybe he can calm her down.” Yamazaki nodded and quickly retreated. Kondo waited until he had cleared the gates before trying to buy them some time. He cleared his throat and adopted a serious tone.

“Sarutobi-san, you're not our enemy, and there is no reason why we shouldn't be able to resolve this on friendly terms. However, if you were to harm our vice-commander, you would undoubtedly become an enemy of the Shinsengumi. Do you understand that?”

Sachan looked down at her feet, shoulders slumping, looking defeated.

“I... I understand...”

Kondo breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God, this was going to be much easier than he had feared.

“Good, so now if you could drop your weapo–”

“I understand that he took my Gin-san from me!” she screamed as she suddenly began violently shaking Hijikata back and forth by the shoulders.

“Let me go!” You've got it all wrong!”

“I know what I saw!”

“Please just drop this!”

“Oh! So now you're begging me just like you were begging him to let you cum?”

Silence fell in the courtyard.

“T-Toshi?” asked Kondo nervously. The officers that had gathered around the scene looked at one another, confused. Even Sougo looked a little shocked, though the expression was quickly replaced by a smirk. Hijikata laughed nervously.

“Ha, Ha, Haaa... What a crazy stalker, right? Seems like she must have hit her head, right? Or that she needs to get her prescription changed? Ha, Haaaa....” he trailed off despondently.

“My glasses aren't the problem! You are!” She hit him harshly on the top of his head. He cried out in pain. “And even without my glasses, I would still have heard the noises you made for my Gin-san!”

“Sarutobi-san, surely there is a mistake...” said Kondo. Seizing the distraction, Hijikata made the most of his untied legs and tried to slip away.

“You think I could mistake seeing the passionate embrace of my beloved Gin-san! He was tricked by this wicked siren in his own bed this very morning!”

Hijikata groaned. Shit, he knew they should have stuck to love hotels... !

“Hijikata _did_ come to breakfast a little later than usual... ” added Sougo, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“Sougo! That's not helpful!” cried Kondo.

“And where do you think you're going, homewrecker?!” she cried, as she spotted Hijikata attempting to hide behind the tree trunk. She grabbed him by the ropes around his chest. In a swift flurry of movement, she had tied up his ankles as well and had him hanging from the tree via a harness system pulling back his shoulders and feet above his back. Had it not been for his clothes, Hijikata would easily have resembled a model in a bondage magazine.

“Those are some very impressive knots, Sachan-san,” said Sougo. Sachan grinned, making a peace sign and readjusted her glasses.

“Now is not the time Sougo!” cried Hijikata from his rope prison.

“Shut up!” cried Sachan, shoving a ball gag into his mouth. The surrounding officers gasped. Kondo, feeling powerless, looked sorry. Sougo snapped another picture.

“I saw him bite and belittle you,” she screamed, “That should have been me!”

“Wait, so the vice-commander likes that sort of thing?” whispered one officer to another.

“And with the Yorozuya's boss, apparently?” the other whispered back.

Hijikata groaned. This was absolutely humiliating. There was no way he would get his demonic reputation back after this.

“Don't you have anything to say for yourself?” she demanded, shoving her face in front of Hijikata's, completely ignoring that she had just gagged him. He frantically mumbled around the gag and tried to spit it out, but to no avail. “What's the matter? Are you shy?” she asked, pulling his hair. “You weren't this shy when you were sticking your ass up in the air for Gin-san this morning!”

There was a surprised laugh from someone in the growing crowd of officers. Hijikata groaned. This couldn't get any worse.

“This is far from over, Hijikata-san,” said Sachan, her voice growing dangerously low. “I'm going to have you crying and begging for mercy the way you were mewling and begging for my Gin-san's mighty sword.” Hijikata's heart rate picked up significantly. Wasn't anyone going to come and stop this psychopath?

“Oi, what's going on here?” Gintoki's voice called out from behind the crowd. They parted to let him through and erupted into whispers. Gintoki approached the scene with Yamazaki trailing behind him. His eyes widened as he saw Hijikata hanging from the tree in his rope bondage. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Ah, it's nice of you to offer, Hijikata-kun, but this isn't really my thing, you know? Gin-san prefers you the way you are... I like that you beg for me to stop but don't do anything about it even when we both know that you have more than enough strength to push me off...”

Hijikata bit down on the ball gag in rage. This idiot was making things even worse!

“Yeah, that's definitely not doing it for me,” said Gintoki, pulling out the gag.

“Yorozuya!” cried Hijikata immediately, “Get your damned stalker under control!”

Simultaneously, Sachan leapt onto Gintoki, clinging her arms around his neck. “Gin-san!” she cried, “You've come for me! Recognizing me as the rightful winner of your heart, soul, and penis!”

“Oi, get off me, pervert,” he said, shoving her into the tree. Sachan slid down the trunk. Upside down, with her back still against the tree, she screamed with glee.

“Yes! Gin-san! I knew you would still mistreat me more!”

“That doesn't mean I like you more, you crazy M!”

“The real M here seems to be the one in bondage,” pointed out Sougo, unhelpfully.

“Can someone finally untie me?” asked Hijikata, exasperated. Gintoki made to move towards Hijikata, but was overtaken by Sougo. With a swift swing of his sword, he cut the rope dangling Hijikata from the tree, letting him painfully drop to the ground face first.

“You bastard,” grumbled Hijikata.

“I'm sure your lover boy will be happy to take care of the rest,” said Sougo, smirking. He turned to Gintoki, “I wouldn't have thought you had such awful taste, Danna.”

“What can I say?” replied Gintoki, rubbing the back of his neck, “I'm weak for the mayo-freak.”

“How cute,” replied Sougo in complete monotone, looking largely unimpressed.

“Yorozuya, shut _up_ ,” hissed Hijikata.

“Come on Hijikata-kun,” said Gintoki, crouching down and beginning to work on the knots. He smiled affectionately. “I think the cat is well out of the bag by now.” Hijikata looked away, his face bright red. Gintoki's smile grew.

Kondo turned to the group of officers still watching the scene unfold.

“Come on, everybody, I'm sure we all have lots of work to do. Let's all get back to our posts.” He made herding motions with his arms, ushering them away. Gossiping remarks spread through the group like wildfire as they made their retreat.

“Do you think they're going to do it?” asked one.

“What, like right there up against the tree?” asked another.

“Do you think they'll take off _all_ of the ropes if they do?”

“I just can't picture the vice-commander like that...”

“And with the Yorozuya's boss...”

Hijikata winced as he heard their remarks. He really was going to have a lot of damage control to do... Seeing his troubled expression, Gintoki seemed to read his mind.

“Relax. All gossip mills run fast. They'll forget all about it the next time you beat one of them within an inch of his life under the guise of 'training' them.”

“I doubt it,” grumbled Hijikata, despite appreciating Gintoki's reassurance.

“Um, Gin-san.”

They turned to see Sachan standing uncertainly next to them. She was fidgeting and looking down at the ground.

“I want to apologize,” she told them.

“Ah.. uh... well, apology accepted?” said Gintoki uncertainly. “What do you say, Toshi?”

“Uh, yes,” agreed Hijikata with a slight nod.

“I think I've finally accepted it,” resumed Sachan, ignoring their uncomfortable and confused looks. “After all this time, my quest for Gin-san's love is over.” She let out a little sniffle and removed her glasses to dab at the corner of her eye.

“Hey, hey, don't cry now,” said Gintoki, moving over to her. He put a hand on her shoulder. “I'm sure you'll find someone else to make as miserable as you've made me all these years.”

Sachan let out a huge wail.

“You idiot...” said Hijikata, still on the ground and partially tied up.

“Well, I don't know what I'm supposed to say!” shouted Gintoki, making Sachan wail even harder.

“Say something nice to her!”

“Ah, uh, Sachan... You've been very persistent over the years, you know?” Sachan looked at him, confused. At least she had stopped wailing. The next moments would be critical. “And, uh,” continued Gintoki, not without some difficulty, “In a way it was very, uh, loyal of you.” Sachan was listening. They could do this! “So uh...” Gintoki hesitated. He patted her on the shoulder and gave her a thumb's up. “Good game!”

Hijikata braced himself for more wailing, but was surprised to hear only a light chuckle and see only a few small tears flow freely down her cheeks.

“Gin-san...” she said, sniffling and wiping her cheeks. They tried to hide their disgust as she blew her nose in her scarf.

“I'm glad you're taking this somewhat OK,” said Gintoki, sincerely genuine this time.

“Thank you, Gin-san,” she said through teary eyes.

“And look on the bright side,” he added, “Now that you won't be stalking me any more, maybe we can be friends.”

The air around them suddenly grew cold. Sachan gave a short, deep chuckle.

“Not be stalking you any more?” she chuckled again, readjusting her glasses. “If I stopped, how would I manage to observe exclusive BL scenes!” she cried energetically, suddenly holding up a video camera.

“Damn you! You haven't changed at all!” cried Gintoki, pushing her away, letting her hit the tree and temporarily incapacitating her once more. He shook his head as he went back to work on Hijikata's knots.

“Good grief. Just how many chances can you give someone? So troublesome,” he grumbled. Hijikata grunted in agreement as Gintoki finally untied his hands and moved onto his ankles, letting Hijikata take care of some of the smaller knots.

“I feel like a boy scout!” Gintoki complained. “I really hope you don't find any of this boy scout role play sexy. You know that Gin-san doesn't really do role play either.”

“Stop saying shit like that out in the open!” Hijikata kicked off the remains of the ropes, his legs free at least.

“Don't worry, there's nobody here,” said Gintoki, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“On the contrary, Danna,” said Sougo, walking back over to them and snapping yet another picture.

“Yo,” greeted Gintoki, leaning back and completely unashamed.

“Sougo, get out of here!”

“You two seem awfully cosy. Don't tell me it's more than just physical between you... ?”

“ _No,_ ” scoffed Hijikata, looking away as he turned bright red.

“Yes,” said Gintoki, turning towards Hijikata and smiling fondly.

“Whatever, I'm out of here,” said Hijikata, getting up and storming off across the courtyard and towards his room.

Gintoki brushed himself off as he rose and watched him leave.

“It's a lot of fun riling him up, isn't it?” asked Sougo conversationally. Gintoki nodded in agreement.

“I never get tired of his angry face,” he confessed. He patted Sougo on the shoulder, “See you around, Souchiro-kun.” He jogged after Hijikata cheerfully.

“It's Sougo,” replied Sougo, knowing full well that Gintoki wasn't listening, already caught up in chasing his lover.

Sougo turned as he heard a groan at the foot of the tree. Sachan was rubbing at the back of her head.

“At least there's no damage to my video camera. But there's no way I can film them now...”

Sougo extended a hand to help her up.

“What would you say to a little business deal? Just between us?” His eyes were dark and his smirk sharp. Sachan examined him thoughtfully.

“What kind of a deal?”

“Right now those two idiots are in Hijikata-san's room, no doubt doing things I'm sure you and your camera would love to be privy to.”

“Go on....”

“Wouldn't it be nice if someone could provide you with a map of all the ways to spy into Hijikata-san's quarters as well as a blueprint of the barracks showing the strongest and weakest parts of the ceiling?”

“And what would you want in exchange?”

“A copy of the tapes.” She looked at him sceptically.

“I wouldn't have thought you were a BL fan.”

“Let's just say I'll have some... other uses for such tapes.” She raised an eyebrow. “Uses that will bring a lot of grief to a certain … “slut” I think you called him?”

Sachan stuck out her hand. “You've got yourself a deal.”

Sougo shook her hand, grinning evilly. “Pleasure doing business with you ~”

Back in his room, Gintoki massaging his shoulders, Hijikata sneezed.


End file.
